Dating in college is awesome. Maybe I feel this way because my dating life didn’t actually start until college, but I think it’s actually because the high school social bullshit falls away and people are free to like who they like – which is just as great as it sounds. It totally blew my mind, actually. College dating is different from high school dating because it comes with its own set of rules, perks, and pitfalls. You’ll need to spend some time adjusting, since you don’t just graduate high school and know exactly what to do (that would be nice though). There are some universal truths about dating in college that you need to know in order to have the best experience you can.

What are some differences? Well, for most of you, it’s your first time living away from your parents. Not only that – there’s not a single parent living in your whole dorm building. The closest thing you all have to a supervising adult is your RA, who’s probably only 21-years-old. This clearly means constant hook ups, partying nonstop, and no drama, right? Not necessarily. Everyone experiences college differently and there is no right answer about how to date and what rules to follow there… but people tend to get an idea of what to do thanks to movies and TV shows. It shouldn’t be surprising that it’s not all rainbows and a never-ending harem of potential lovers. Here are 20 truths about dating in college no one ever tells you.

1) You might meet the love of your life.

As of 2013, 28 percent of married couples met in college and 38.6 percent met through friends in common (which, according to this study, is the most common way people meet their future spouses). According to my late 20’s Facebook timeline, those two categories tend to venn diagram a lot, AKA people meeting in college through friends. This doesn’t even mean someone from your school! You’re leaving out the potential guys coming to visit their high school besties and meeting other guys from nearby schools when you go out.

 

2) You and your high school bae might break up even if you go to the same school.

No, you won’t go to college and magically transform into another person who does not care about their hometown relationships, but your world is about to expand and you might like it. Same goes for your boyfriend/girlfriend. Staying together is going to take a lot of effort if you want it to work out, but sometimes, you might want to let go.

 

3) Not everyone wants to be in a relationship.

Being single is college is great! There are so many options. Not everyone wants to be officially together with everyone they hook up with. Sometimes a hook up is just a hook up.

 

4) Not everyone is into casual hook ups.

Sure, being single in college is great, but there’s nothing wrong with being more romantically oriented. Like I said, everyone experiences college in a different way.

 

5) You’re going to see your ex around campus more than you would think.

In that sense, it’s just like high school, except that you all now live together, which makes running in to this person wearing your pajamas in the dining hall isn’t going to feel so rad.

 

6) Try as hard as you can not to date someone in your building or within your major.

If I’m being real, this is going to happen and it’s awkward AF for everybody involved. It happens to the best of us, but the chances of seeing them go through the roof, including when they get together with a new person and you’re in your pajamas in the dining hall. Ugh.

 

7) Dating isn’t a fast track to a relationship.

Quite the opposite, actually. You can date someone and never be their girlfriend and that’s fine. College dating is where high school dating and adult dating start to overlap a little bit. You may have more dates than relationships. It seemed like high school was all about landing a boyfriend, while college is all about meeting and experiencing new people.

 

8) You might not have time for a relationship.

The schooling part of college takes up a lot more time and energy than you think.

 

9) But that doesn’t mean one isn’t going to sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Ambush feelings!

 

10) Not living in your parents’ house is going to change your sex life.

You’re all young, even your RA. There are no grown ups here to judge you! I make no guarantees about nosy roommates, though. They could still walk in when you’re doing it.

 

11) Trying to sleep next to someone in an extra long twin bed is rough and almost not worth it.

And it’s even harder to do when you’re tall. Or anything larger than a My Size Barbie, so mostly everyone.

 

12) Not everyone has the same background as you do.

In high school you all have similar backgrounds because you all grew up in the same hometown. In college everyone is varied, so take everything into account when you’re dating a new person. They don’t have the same values, history, or priorities as you, so you need to listen even more to what they’re all about.

 

13) People don’t automatically mature in college.

High school girls are always like, “OMG I need to meet a guy who’s in college” but I’m not sure why, because a lot of guys in college are really immature. Some guys actually get worse. No grown ups means unlimited video games and unlimited f-ckboy behavior. Fun.

 

14) You might not be able to afford real dates.

Going to dinner and movies will feel like a splurge and that’s okay. College is a financially rough time.

 

15) Gossip spreads even faster in college.

How? It’s so much bigger! I blame the fact that most students live together.

 

16) If you didn’t get a lot of dates in high school, your luck may change in college.

YAAAAAAS. REJOICE FELLOW MISFITS.

 

17. You will almost definitely get caught having sex (or hooking up). 

It happens at least once to almost every college student ever, so don’t feel too bad.

 

18. You will also almost definitely walk in on someone having sex. 

You will 100 percent walk in on a couple getting down and dirty – probably your roommate. It can’t be helped.

 

19. Oh, and you might try to have sex while your roommate is in the room. 

Eventually you’re like, “eff it,” and you just attempt quiet sex while they’re a few feet away from you.

 

20) If you don’t meet the love of your life – or anyone, for that matter – that’s completely fine.

I’m almost 27 and I’ve never been in a relationship and that’s okay. College isn’t your last shot at love or meeting *~the one~*. It’s just another setting and another opportunity and life is full of those.

 

Which one of these dating truths do you relate to? What did we forget? Tell me in the comments.

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.

 

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