8 Mistakes Women Make in the Early Dating Stages

It’s no secret that many men, (well, most even) are afraid of commitment. They want to play the field, keep their options open, have their hands in a few pots, and a bunch of other metaphors, etc., etc.. And when you start dating someone, that’s the foundation. If it’s awkward and shaky, then it’s not going to be able to remain stable. Women have the tendency to create situations for ourselves because we allow our emotions to run rampant. So here are some of the most common mistakes women make in the beginning stages of dating someone.

1. Talking About Past Relationships

Just as you would rather him refrain from comparing you to the love of his life that he lost, he does not want to constantly hear about yours. Stop talking about your ex Jermaine and how he cheated on you with the slutty girl that lives next door to you and now you can never trust another man again. Granted, at some point, if you do have trust issues, you can express that to him but focusing on your exes and their drama early on can be a turn off for anyone.

2. Expecting Too Much Too Soon

A big mistake. Expecting too much from the man that you are dating can be a big turn off. There is nothing wrong with you letting him know how you expect to be treated, respected and courted. The problems begin when you expect him to pay your rent after dating for 3 weeks. This is an unrealistic expectation. That is where the difference between wanting to be courted turns into an unrealistic expectation. The man does not know you. Plus, do you really want to be with someone who is that naive? If you do then don’t get mad when he then expects some a** in return. Also, being too clingy too soon is a warning sign for most guys. Unless they are into the clingy crazy chicks. Sadly, there are guys who are.

3. Expecting A Relationship After Sex

Just because you slept together, does not mean that there is a relationship established. You would think that most grown women have this concept figured out but there are still some lost souls. They think that their vagina is the end all and be all and that their sex will be enough to entangle him without him actually having any authentic feelings for you. Granted it might get his attention for a short period of time but your sex will not guarantee his interest or a long lasting relationship if one at all. It also will not necessarily make him take you seriously if that is not a part of his plan. If you know in your heart that you want to be in a relationship with the person that you are sleeping with, as corny as it sounds, don’t sleep with him until you have one established. Why settle and hope for the best?

4. Establishing Yourself As A Doormat

Getting dressed at 3 a.m. to go see him because he FINALLY called when you know that you have to be at work by 8 a.m. is not a good look. Don’t settle for being his door mat and establish that he has all of the control while dating you. Never make yourself available to him at his beck and call. Being his door mat might entice him for a short period of time but most men like women with their own lives, minds and opinions and most importantly that can tell them “no” sometimes. As silly as it is, men like the chase.

5. Establishing Yourself As A Drama Queen

Who wants to be bothered with a woman who always has issues and drama? Just as a man with too much drama can be annoying so can you’re constant drama. So you calling him 20 times in an hour after an argument will not necessarily cement you in his life. It might be the display of crazy that pushes him away. Granted, there are some men who like dealing with drama queens. They love to feed off the arguing and not knowing if their car tires will be slashed when they leave out for work in the morning. Believe it or not, in some sick way it makes them feel desired. I call them drama kings. Try to avoid at all costs.

6. Expecting Him To Be Emotionally Available Because You Are

Just because you have decided in your mind that he is the “One,” does not mean that his mind is made up. Sometimes it takes men longer to figure things out and put things together in their heads. Even though it may seem so simple to you. So, you may be emotionally ready to take things to the next level with him but he may still be in his own little world.

7. Coercing Him Into A Relationship

Trying to “trick” him into a relationship by manipulative tactics will only give you control for a limited amount of time. Eventually he will figure things out and his true feeling will surface. This may lead him to act out and a quick change of behavior. Suddenly he is less interested in you, has less time for you etc.. This is because he was not ready to begin with.

8. Having Your Girlfriends In Your Business

Whew! I know there has to be some women out there who know about this. While I feel that sometimes it is okay for you to seek advice from your friends, there should be a limit. All of the decision making in your dealings with men should not strictly come from them. There also is no reason why they need to know every single detail about your experiences and dates with him. Decide for yourself whether he is the man for you. When it comes down to it you are the one who will have to deal with him. Also, every woman’s tolerance level when dealing with men is different. So what might be an absolute “hell no” for you might be a “maybe” for the next chick. It can also be a big turn off for men when the women they are dating is always involving her girlfriends in their business. It may stop him from taking things to the next level with you. He does not want to date you and your girls.

There’s a reason why John Gray sold millions and millions of copies of his book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Because it’s true, figuratively speaking. We operate on different wavelngths, have different needs, understand things differently. So sometimes, as women, we have to understand that. And make it work for us.

Did I miss anything? There’s lots and lots more for sure, I just prefer to be a Positive Polly and not a Debbie Downer. But anything any of you women out there think should be added to the list, please indicate. This will be a learning experience for all of us.

– courtesy of yeahshesaidit.com