What etiquette advice would you give to foreigners on dating Chinese women (in China) in their mid-20s?
Almost the same as anywhere else: treat her with kindness and respect, don't assume anything, and be a gentleman.
Other tips:
- pick up some Mandarin, preferably take a formal course in it
- show extra respect to her parents; filial piety is highly ranked in traditional Chinese culture
- speak to them as individuals, not 'Chinese woman #123'
- learn to use chopsticks properly
- show up 10 minutes early (Chinese are often big on punctuality)
Perhaps I'm not the best person to reply- I only grew up partially in China, though I maintain close ties with her. Neither have I dated Chinese women, being straight and all- though I have dated foreigners while in China.
So among the mistakes that these men have made to turn me off (not that I was an absolute angel myself), perhaps these might help-
- assuming I don't speak English well
- assuming my facility with other languages is diminished simply because of my fluency in English
- assuming my identity is in line with one of the langauges I speak
- assuming they can impress me with just basic Mandarin
- assuming they can understand my study material (that's pretty odd, though)
- assuming 'Chinese girls' are this or that (I've heard "materialistic", "cold fish", etc. but I've never heard positive stereotypes like "brilliant" or "kind"- though even it's probably a mistake to even stereotype positively.)
- discussing marriage really early on
- calling me names
- making inappropriate and racially sensitive remarks
- assuming false familiarity
- showing up late
At the end of the day, as long as you see them and treat them as people and not labels or concepts, it's all good. Be prepared for stares and jibes, though- but eventually you get used to that, too.
We're all just co-people, as Ron Burgundy might say. :) Good luck.
if you are not familiar with Chinese, just pay attention to issue that might bother and force it to be talk about openly. Otherwise you'd might get a whole load of accusses when you finally end up in a big fight and wonder why she didnt say so earlier. That also counts for unspoken expectations of her on you and believe me, normally she has a lot!
The other thing is, eventhough a lot young Chinese women act like a modern, independent person but when a relationship becomes serious enough for an foreseeable long future, you'd have to take account of the expectation of the family behind her. Because family values are still very high and deep in Chinese society.
(no matter , i also met some very bad Chinese girls ) ,
something about them,
what you should know before u date a girl from China :
what they like ?
-romantic
-cute gifts
- safety man
- dinner with their lovers
-traveling
- movies
- kind people
- learning languages
- KT V
- Japanese cartoons
- when you remember her birthday and
all small or important details about them .
what you shouldn't do , when you are with Chinese girl
- try your best to not be rude to her
- never be playboy , they really hate it , they will never forgive you
- bad jokes about them in front of others
- when man saying bad words ( no matter to whom )
- never say something bad about their parents (they will hate you)
- don't talk about politics with them (no comment )
- don't lie about love , if you don't love her , don't tell ''I LOVE YOU''
-don't say something bad about Chinese people , they will think u are racist
- they really hate when their BF have no time for them
- never talk about your personal life with her till you really love or going to be with her forever .
-never take invitation from her to meet her parents if you aren't going to be with her in a seriously relationship .
-don't date traditional Chinese girl if you just wanna have a fun.
-don't joke some crazy jokes with them , because they can take it seriously , so maybe you will have some scandal .,
If you're living in China and thinking about starting a relationship while you're there, one of the best things you can do for yourself to better your chances is learning Chinese.
Something that always leaves an impression on people is you taking an interest in them. So if you want to impress a Chinese girl, you should consider studying up on Chinese language and culture. Depending on where you're from, there could be a lot of cultural differences that could complicate and even threaten your relationship if you aren't both on the same page. Plus wouldn't it be sweet if you could speak to her parents or grandparents in their native language, even if she is able to speak English with you?
eChineseLearning is an online Chinese tutor program over Skype, and they've actually got a course designed with Sinophiles in mind--Chinese Lessons For Dating!
According to their website, "This Mandarin Chinese course is designed for those who are or intend to be in serious relationships and are interested in learning to express their true feelings and emotions in Chinese. All lessons in this course are based on real dating scenarios.
Through Chinese lessons for dating, you will learn the most useful words, phrases and sentences on various topics involving love and romance (selected list):
- Asking for a date
- Confessing one's feelings to someone
- Sending gifts
- Writing love letters
- Making vows
- Making a proposal
- Visiting (future) parents-in-law
Sounds like a great way to learn the kind of Chinese you'd want to know if you wanted to start a relationship with a Chinese girl. Much more helpful than a textbook that's gonna spend three months teaching you how to order drinks in a restaurant and shop for food at a grocery store.
